Notes on Self Publishing with Mary Ellen Courtney

Hugh Howey

Gaming Amazon
All book sites, share, give free link, good reads?, indies, forward reviews
voracious/ next blockbuster readers, 1 book a month/ 1 a year: heard from other
Fan Fiction as affiliate % to Author on Amazon
pick a character, mystery/ suspense/ SERIES/
don’t look down, don’t look back,

michael connoly, carl hiassen: 1 book a YEAR
marketing: put up on website, buy ad somewhere, send off to reviewing places and awards,
development editor: cut to half/
really helps to understand there’s a lot of charlatans and hacks
print through Ingram: Lightning Source, Ingram Distribution system: amazon, barnes and noble, baker and taylor
kindle direct publishing: e-book wing
LiberWriter: upload word doc and they convert to e-book
Book Publicist: ok, but wait til you have a few books
force you to fill out long things for interviews
children’s books: try to attach well known illustrator to project, (new york), marketing to people who want to write children’s books looking for illustrator
Join SCBWI, join conference
no real value to
sending work to artist rep specializing in editorial: NY or SF, just get on LA Workbook, check big slaes publication reps use and find who handles the thing I do.
Promotion: different from marketing, what you do before book comes out.
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What happens when the spirit desires to speak out?

Have you felt the rhythm in your chest, a pulse, a pressing in your solar plexus to speak something out? What happens when we feel this, but we do not have words, clear words to say? It is just a pulse, a pulse desiring to communicate something. What is it? Our logical minds may be able to overcome the pulse by knowing that there is not something clear to say. It reasons, “if I do not know what the pulse wants to say, how do I know it is worth taking the time to write it down, after all, I don’t know what to write. My time would be much better doing something for which I know there will be a result, or a certain satisfaction or experience that will occupy me. Writing without knowing what I’m writing, what’s the value in that? How can I be certain?

Experiment, Spirit Hack # 1

Ask the pulse what it is feeling. Don’t ask what it wants to say. Speech is a symbolized verbalized conceptual communication that seeks to give meaning, purpose, or action to feeling. What happens when I ask the pulse– what are you pulsing about?


There is something I want to do. Some place I want to be. I want to be engaged. I want to be engaging.

Don’t fill in words about why not or how– spirit doesn’t communicate this way, doesn’t engage in the strategic logic of if-then factors. It is. It becomes true to itself by being itself which is its desired resonant frequency and all things shift around the resonant frequency.


I want to engage. I want to communicate. I love communicating. I want to engage with people. I want to be working with them. I want to be discovering how we work together. I want to be asking questions with people about consciousness. About true desires. About how life works. Life hacks. But not Life hacks like Tim Ferriss. Life hacks like consciousness hacks. How do we hack consciousness? How do we hack into our spiritual purpose?

There is no spiritual PURPOSE. There is a spiritful engagement. There is a spiritful inquiry. There is spiritful wonder and immersion and discovery and.

What is pulse pulsing towards?

Sharing. Sharing this process. Sharing and being naked in sharing this process. Process of spirit. It does not make sense to logical mind at all, to share without something of clear value being shared. SHARE. Be seen. Be naked in this inquiry. You don’t have the answers. That’s the point. People are tired of so many answers. Be willing to ask questions. Don’t KNOW. Be in the question. The process. Be naked in it. So that others that might be in it too, that don’t feel comfortable being naked in it, not knowing, we can together share that we don’t know. Share the vulnerability of not having anything to say, of not knowing. Of following the pulse, just the pulse. Where does it lead? Let it go. Go. Write it down, even though it may not go anywhere, so that is one more story to share how spirit works. Not how mind works. Not how intellect works. Because perhaps intellect cannot transform the world it has created. Perhaps intellect is obsolete, and it is the age of spirit now– of an illogical compass, a compass that does not chart itself by way of a mapped route, for any route mapped has already been taken before– no, to get to spirit we must follow the spirit compass–the compass that just follows the pulse. No more than two steps ahead of where we know. How can we know that we got there? Because we will have arrived in our spirit and the pulse will not be pushing anymore. The pulse will spread out and know it is where it needs to be. It will have found its engagement point.

The compass of spirit has no map. We have no map nor destination to navigate to. We only need the compass, and the compass is the pulse, and the pulse tells us, we know: When we are on the path, when we need to move, when we have arrived.

We are getting back to spirit. It is a journey led by our excitement. Why would we go anywhere else but towards our excitement? Would we go to our security before we get to our excitement? “I will get to my security first, and then from there I will safely venture out into my excitement.”

Right! That never happens. Then are we willing to leave our security to follow our excitement? How does it work?

Keep sharing. Just keep sharing, because this journey is about consciousness, and you are not separate from anyone, so by sharing it, you are sharing it with yourself. You are bringing consciousness to yourself. You are making the process of spirit, of the journey, questions, you are making it part of life. Not something occult. Not something mysterious, but something like what I ate for breakfast today.

Yes yes? No No?


Just share. share every scrap of heart you have. Let others determine it value for them. It doesnt matter whether anyone cares. If someone who loves to sing sings in the woods, and no one else is around to hear it, does it make the world more beautiful?

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Walking through the fog

When we realize that any confusion and self-doubt is not in our heads, but is in front of our heads, then this acrid fog of smog clears from in front of our minds eye and our hearts can take a clear, full breath of spirit. Here, in this moment, the clouds of confusion of our human life part. In the pit of our stomachs we know we must not run; from the smog, the acrid air, the twisted water & microwave sun.

We must look through them, breathe through them. We must absorb the piss stained streets of our cities to transform them. Not for ever; for one moment we must feel them fully. Our whole system, our livers, our kidneys, our eyes, nose mouth lungs heart must nakedly FEEL this pollution so we can stop running for something. Then we realize we were not running for some goal, for some greater than human purpose. We have been running and gasping, thinking there is something we must do, be, change, accomplish, and then our bodies will breathe, relax.

No. It is the ecology of our bodies we must find first. The foundation of this is our re-cognition of our inter-generative role in world-reflexive self creation.

The catalyst for this recognition is a moment of our entire internal ecology experiencing the physiology of ourselves within our entire global environment.

When we experience this, that our gasping and running is not for some new accomplishment or experience or repetitive clause for “survival”, but is our physiological need to breathe, to drink clear waters, to love and trust one another, then we become Earth beings again. Suddenly, what we were really gasping for becomes apparent. We have a greater family than we ever realized.

All of our mitochondrial relations flood back to us.
We are once more surrounded by our land, sea, earth and air siblings again. They did not banish us from our family, we banished ourselves.

We find the clean breath of peace in knowing our role; to be the hands of the earth, to serve the great unfolding of the conscious earth by assisting the form pattern and structure of the interrelations of all beings and elements that are and have been generated from the Earth.

We are here to maximize life, to be the hands for the hand-less, the legs for the legless. To plant the seeds in the places the wind could not carry them. To place the stones in places geology could not place them. To guide the water to places evaporation nor gravity could take it.

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When we treat those who serve us

As a part of our self that serves us, then we begin to stitch the fabric of ourselves together. The body that serves the mind the spirit, the soul that serves them all. When we look around at ourselves at all the roles that are played, and see our self ourself our self serving our self. Then how kind Lee will I words in our hands be upon those who take care of us? And how kindly will our heartbeat and our mind hum as we take care of all those little bit and pieces of ourselves on our way to manifesting oure next self adventure and offer in celebration that this world is a physical world and a physical world is a world of maintenance. And if we choose to see it from a deeper level it is not maintenance at all but rather that once we have manifested something in our lives the great work of calling it for from the ether’s is complete and yet each day or morning or night when we touch or see it or think of them again we call forth with all the power of our appreciation those things those people those places those possibilities and now that it is physical depreciation we call for this is no longer just mental what is expressed with our kind hands or words to let that manifestation know that regardless of the forces of oxidation and radiation which are always pulling the solid back apart into the raw material for our imaginations. That we call them for a manifest them each day with so much little effort than before.
We can call this maintenance and feel like we are losing time. Or we can call this the power of compound interest and be in wonder at how instantly we manifest these lives we once only dreamed of everyday.

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Adding it to the cloud

Well, my pages just crashed taking my manifesto-exploration of space and time with it.

So it looks like its time to give everything to the cloud–vulnerability, process, sharing, rapid imperfections, emphatic yes, love sun wonderful, joy me, heart speak, green heart, heart share, heart sun wonderful, explore, experiment,
Would I have rather shared my uncompleted process than share nothing at all?

Would I have rather been judged for clarity to work out than to not have shared at all?
Sing and Dance in public.

Love Everyone.



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three legged tables


And other simple wishes for living in a logical world

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three legged tables


And other simple wishes for living in a logical world

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Bringing our hearts to the world through creative actions

How do we bring our hearts to the world, to our friends and loved ones and community and indeed, everyone walking down the street?

Here’s some techniques I just heard from Amber, ecstatic birth coach, and as creativity is a birthing, you’ll find these techniques very effective for birthing process of your own creations.

Amber: When you feel all of it, and release the resistance to the pain, then the pain transforms into ecstasy. The process is one of constant release of resistance, of any holding in your body. Where’s the tension? Release. Where’s the tension? release. release. Release holding on to a feeling. Release not feeling the pain. Release. Step out-of-the-way of the creative process.

Noah: The creative process is creative. It is something bigger than I have been before. So of course there is pain, but it need not be pain. Pain is my resistance to fully experiencing a new sensation– a sensation of a larger self, a self that can hold more experience.

Amber: Mmm. When we feel it, and release, we can have a whole new experience of birth, of pain, of ecstasy.

Noah: So my resistance, procrastination, fear when I sit down to write, to create something I have not created yet, to do something new, this is a resistance to a new sensation, to being open to greater forces, but I don’t need to experience this as pain, if I keep scanning for the tension, and then releasing it, constantly, and allowing the creative process to work its way through the darkness, the mystery.

How are you holding on in your life?

Where can you release tension to allow the creativity through?

Release Release Release.


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What color


Sometimes I don’t know where nature finds such a color. A chalky pastel violet.

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release release

What if all this is enough? The process. The process of process. Being in process. That experiencing the process and all the moments of the process is the result. being in time. The divinity of being in time. of being in process. The duty of the human, the human angel is the angel without wings– is the angel that is here to discover and be present with process– with time–time between intention and manifestation. Bring consciousness to the space between–to the distance between the manifest. Every electron is as far away from every other part of the atom as our planets are to each other in our solar system. Nothing is ever touching. What if we are the experience of the unmanifest– us, our lives– our consciousness is to be in time slowed down from the speed of light– slowed down from instantaneousness, we are the distance between the word and the moment of creation. We are the act of creation. What if we release- every thought, every question and doubt and vessel maintaining action to the next moment– the moment of intersection of objects? The moment of intersection when everything exchanges and changes its course and changes the nature of its changing courseness upon all other objects it interacts with throughout the rest of time.

Consciousness is to release all the thinking and thioughtstreams inbetween each manifest moment of interaction. To surrender divinely our serenity to space– the space of manifestation in between word and result. The same way that our autonomic nervous system became conscious to the beating heart, so that it beats throughout the course of a lofe, so our evolutionary step is to incorporate the journey of the process in between manifestation autonomic, but to be present to it–aware, conscious of that space that is time– the space between moments– while in an object, in matter that is decaying, that appears to have¬† a life span- for manifestation to become conscious of itself, of manifestation, it must be a manifestation experiencing both the process of manifestation and of decay¬† into formlessness that renews the matter of the stream of manifestation for itself. Divinity is to be aware and alive within the surrender of all the moments in between intention and manifestation– to do the work of manifestation without thought– we are the manifestation of the universe– catalyst for manifestation, and to be able to be present with the process without escaping the process, to FEEL all of the process of intent to object, object which is matter shaped by intent, by forces, by will.

We are the unmanifest, the space in between the manifest, experiencing TIME. Our thoughtstream is a moment of interaction identifying its coordinates with other coordinates of interaction/ intersection of objects with force/ velocity seeking to be an object itself. It is the string threading through and having an experience of moments of manifestations of experience. But the moments of synergy, synthesis, catalyst, impact, are what are real. They have ripples with other matter–this pertitude(ability to maintain) of memory is not pertinent, of consciousness maintaining hold of an experience and carrying it over into the next– of matter that retains the history of its impacts and transformations– for the sake of– matter becoming conscious of its own journey through manifestations–its own journey through interactions with other forces and objects–it is matter, becoming conscious of itself–so that it can intend, not by reaction, not by base physics, but can alter its own course for its own sake and for the sake of choice of interaction– intentional matter. Our experience of self is our experience of a trapped waveform seeking to draw a line through a series of experiences and make them connected. But they are not, need not be. Become the beating heart– release. Surrender the constant speculation of thought and experience the process of manifestation as an observer– all the actions, there are no choices. except to choose against it, those that seek to escape the moment, the process, the experience of time, the experience of themselves as space.

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