About: Rules of the Blog

Rules of the Saturn Returns Blog:

If any gypsy, fortune-teller, bone reader, or hobo mentions that I am going through my Saturn Return, I must ask them everything they know and post it.

If a gypsy, handwriting analyst, or metaphysical practitioner offers their services in determining my fate, destiny, or favorite ice cream flavor, I must take them up on their services and post it.

If any gypsy, mind-reader, circus clown, et al suggests that I do something, (a ritual, stare at the moon, eat funnel cake when the tide is out, or sacrifice things to a planet orbiting 900 million miles away from ours) etc. I must do so and post the results, even if it means getting arrested.

I will add to these Rules as the other celestial beings along my path show me the way. And of course, I learn about the planet Saturn.

I am using this blog to document the process and journey of the Saturn Return. I didn’t know anything about the return. Upon returning back to my new-age hometown of Ojai after living in New York and traveling around the world working on a documentary about contemporary rites of passage, almost every time someone asked me how old I was they would look deeply into my eyes and say “Ohhhhh, uhm-huhm. You’re going through you’re SATURN RETURN!”

Given that I and most of my friends don’t put much stalk into astrological destiny, I was skeptical. But then when I started to look into it I was impressed by the parallels between new-age astro-voodoo-ology and what I was actually going through in my life. All of my friends are going through it too, so, might as well gather as much info as I can and share it with anyone interested along the way.


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