Monthly Archives: October 2010
I have lost the will
To fight for myself. I just don’t believe that my comfort or my pleasure, or my ego or my desire, or my wishes and visions are possible enough that it is worth the effort to fight for them, (to fight … Continue reading
The wet streets. The imperative clouds. It is not a cloud. One continuous block of grey. No discernment. No border our boundary. Just grey. And a slippery cold after all the warm faces at Ojai Day. I always run away. … Continue reading
There is only one question we really ask ourselves
And hamlet got it wrong. New Liberty at the goodbar, they got it. Are you going to be a rockstar, or not? Everything else are just validations of the latter.
Even though I am surrounded by others
I don’t feel like poisoning myself anymore. It doesn’t stimulate my mood or my personality, though it might make me more social, I don’t want to rely on something like that for the duration of my life, so why continue … Continue reading
The question is not
Whoare we, who am I, but, How can I bring value to this situation? How can I heighten this experience? How can I lighten, en lighten, fill with light this experience, our experience, my experience.
Why am I wasting my time
With any of this, questions, doubt, waiting for the right moment, another moment, moment. Why wait for love? I love lucy. There is love with lucy. There is not one but many, the only question is how long will we … Continue reading
I get to live the life I want to live.
What do we want?
I can be the different man that I want to be.
Driving leaving a message for kent, I call him “buddy”. Why? Is everything casual and informal? Am I a low stakes guy? Is everything okay catch as catch can, unintentional? I want to honor others. I want to honor the … Continue reading
I’ve got to find a way to be true t myself. All these other peoples visions. All these opther lives. The waay we live in the cities, in our boxlike homes, in our heartds and our minds. I can’t do … Continue reading
passion, ennui and the seventh gen.
Its not that I lack passion. The fire in my stomach keeps me up at night. I wake with visions of other worlds. I want to bring these home. Home to earth, to our senses. I want to feel them, … Continue reading