Living up to my own visions is really a battle. When there is a long pause in these letters to myself, it means I have jumped onto other peoples projects. I have found a way to help them. And it is so much easier to invest in others than to invest in myself, in my own vision- my self claiming, self maKing. I have said this before, somewhere. This is a looping realization. But how do I change what needs to change? How do we step into a new process?
is there still time to claim the self knocking from within, the self asking, pleading, what does the world feel like, how does this feel like when the internal images and doings come into something real? Do they fall apart, are they insubstantial?
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Saturn Returns in the Year of the White Tiger 