Ojai at night from shelf road, communion with the grandmothers

I walk up the firebreak road to get some peace. Shelf road has always been a calm place to view the valley from, to open up the perspective. Right as I place myself and then exhale, Lorindra calls. L is a grandmother of the wilderness guides world. She’s in the trailer to the documentary.
Right off she tells me she has just been speaking to C. In south africa. He is going through a tough time. He’s going through his second saturn return, and your going through your first. He is such a strong, beautiful man. He is that for others, but its hard for him to be that for himself.
You’ve just got to trust, that you are enough just as who you are.
What I’m learning is that its okay to be soft, to be vulnerable. I’m trusting being in that place and coming from that place.
Feel those quiet mountains you’re sitting in? That’s the place that you come from. That place. When you come from the stillness in yourself, you are okay. The universe will guide you.

We are close to the new moon. Do something with the moon, some kind of ritual. Whatever you want, whatever calls to you. It doesn’t have to be anything big.

And we part, say our goodbyes. The moon will guide us into the night.


About noah crowe

I was born without a name. Later my family named me Noah Crowe. Crowe is my father's last name. I am an artist. Rather, I am a human being, seeking to know what I am. I am writing this blog to document my quest to know who I am in this world for my unborn son (and/or daughter). My father never passed on his journey to me, and I believe that it is story and ritual that informs our world; the worlds we live in, internally and externally. This is my way of giving myself, and my potential son, a window into this process of finding spiritual meaning and service in a culture that I find to lack the foundation of integration between the spiritual, the communal, and the societal.
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